Jan 3, 2009 

As some of you already know, we really made the most out of the long Christmas break!  I feel so refreshed today as I catch up in the cyber world (write a couple of posts and upload holiday photos)! J From Dec 24 (except when I had to check my email for my flight confirmation), I deliberately took a break from my cyber life and enjoyed every bit of the real world! Hehehe Anyway, I’m really happy because I was able to:  1) spend real quality time with family and friends –in Subic with my family and some high school friends; in Bicol with Kiko’s relatives and friends; in Baguio with the Baguilats and Famorcas; 2) see old and new acquaintances; 3) breathe enough fresh air and drink as much buko juice!!! *should I mention alcohol as well?* hehehe!; 4) finish reading 2 books -Twilight by Stephanie Meyer (yup—I’m in love with Edward Cullen too! hehe) and Remember When by Judith Mcnaught (was supposed to read New Moon but I left the book in Subic— I’ll do that very soon!)!5) recharge the mind, body and soul! hehe  I’m actually very inspired right now from the rest and the encounters I had over the holidays. J  

Here’s a recap of what we did in the last 10 days: (more…)

(written: Nov. 6, 2008)

As I was walking along the streets of Makati Avenue it dawned upon me that I am exactly where I want to be today…and in this stage of my life…

It’s my car coding day so I took a cab to work.  I decided to get off at Pacific Star to get myself a Starbucks mocha frappuccino (my favorite!).  As I went along… walking in my “Carrie strides”– in my favorite white heels from London, I realized I was really feeling light and perfect!   Imagine that scene in a feel good movie when it’s about to end? A good song playing in the background… the main character walking down a perfect setting, in a perfect windy weather, closing her eyes… smiling and just savoring the nice weather and that feeling of inner peace and contentment…  It was exactly like that.  I realized that my life’s happiness actually comes from the totality of the way I live on a daily basis… that my happiness doesn’t depend on what will be or on any big plans for the future.  Its happiness and contentment now… in the small and big things I have at the moment… relationships, career, routine (esp. the full 8-hour sleep I get to enjoy everyday! J), lifestyle, extras… As I continued walking, I recapped in my mind how the last 24 hours of my life went… I was pleased and said a quick prayer of thanks… I thought… Life just couldn’t get any better…   

Friends!!!  Let’s support this fund raising activity to raise funds for various youth charity projects of the International Order of Demolay.   

• What:  Movie Premiere of Quantum of Solace
• Where:  Glorietta 1 Cinemas, Makati City 
• When:  November 5, 2008 at 7:30pm   
• Tickets Prices:  P400 and P600  
• About the Movie:  http://www.007.com/#/about-the-film  

Please send me a message if interested. Thanks!!!

I decided to publish my birthday wish list this early coz SHIPPING takes a while!  hehehe *YES, I’m expecting the unexpected!!!* mwahahaha!

NOT IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE:

• Message compilation from my all the important characters *BFFs, you know what this means! hehe*
• Anything personal or personalized
• Anything Chanel, LV and the like *big grin!*
• Friendster comment – if you feel like using graphic glitters or animated pics, please use small to medium size only
• Sony DSLR or Canon Powershot camera
• Kikay Bags – anything shinning, shimmering, splendid
• SPA 6750 GCs
• Starbucks GCs
• Hello Kitty seat belt cover
• Anything ZARA or Mango
• Anything Precious Moments
• Tequila Rose
• Decorative scented candles
• A new pet fish or bird(s) - I have a bowl aquarium and a bird cage na so yung pet nalang talaga if ever.  I’ll name it after YOU! hehe
• Luggage piece/set – something really durable: could withstand over shopping/over packing!
• NO perfumes (unless it’s Bvlgari White); NO Victoria Secret sprays/lotions (body butter pwede na); NO make-up items please… still have stocks of these J
• Cash donations to Rizalina Ruanto Baguilat Foundation (in process…) - have a charity thing on Oct 3, 2008 at SNZ J

THANK YOU!

In between grieving for my mom’s passing and getting sick (like I was almost dead)… I managed to upload my Greece photos in Friendster and Multiply.  To me…That’s how thin the line can get between misery and happiness. 

I have always been a big fan of life.  I wake up each day with so much positivity and confidence like nothing could spoil my perfect, happy, fabulous world.  Until about 3 weeks ago—when my mom died.  That day made me realize how “easy” my life had been… how God and my parents have protected me from all the ugly things in life… It suddenly hit me that all these time I probably didn’t truly understand what pain or suffering really means…  I was totally clueless until I lost a love one…  The pain was just excruciating to a point of numbing.  For a while, all I wanted to do was float and sleep.  Literally, my body was about ready to shut down due to non-activity.  From where I was 3 weeks ago, I suddenly understood why and how some people are so careful or afraid to live life to the full or love to the core… They simply had a glimpse of hell (i.e. excruciating pain and exhaustion— physically, mentally and emotionally) while still alive and just couldn’t take it.  I felt like this for a while.  From being bubbly and confident, I was suddenly afraid.  Afraid of the realization that we actually live under the mercy of fate…  That there are things which might happen to us beyond our wildest imagination which could cause us grave pain and suffering…  And then I thought… so what do we do then?  Give in?  Give up?  Just stop living?  Drop everything and wallow in despair?  Of course not… We can’t let pain or useless anxiety get the better of us.  We simply pick-up ourselves and move on… little by little. 

I woke up in a hospital bed and decided I’m done being down and miserable.  And then in some cosmic way, there was inner peace and hope.  I was just soooo excited to go back to normal and live again.  I decided… happy is a much nicer word than misery… After all… “with all it sham, drudgery and broken dreams… it is still a beautiful world…”

Sold my car yesterday… My very 1^st!!!  The secondary witness to my SUPER fun and colorful yuppie days (next to my “bachelorette pad” hehe)!!!  It once symbolized my independent, carefree, perfectly FAB early 20s lifestyle (exactly the kind of life you would want to have between 23-26! Oh… yes… nothing beats the ultimate! hehe)– the craziest years of my life!  Hahaha!  **memories flooding back– winky wink!**  Anyway, we’ve shared some really unforgettable experiences together—fun, sad, awkward, scary, angry, stupid, exciting, embarrassing, serious… and more importantly… happy… I just realized this morning how it had been really really good to me (all those years).  To pay tribute to my car (for the last time), here are OUR Top 7 BEST (i.e. prior to family life J):  

• Road Trip – I still vividly remember… my window was down… my eyes enjoying the beautiful scenery of Albay… I was feeling very lucky just being there, enjoying the fresh breeze…all the attention and pampering… away from the noise of the city… then, something hit me… I was falling for the man beside me!  It was the day that changed my life forever…**Umay! J**  
• First Love – he held my hand while the song “Paano” was playing over the radio… we were driving along the sbma expressway (before the tunnel) around 2am on our way to Manila… I looked at him… he looked at me… no words needed to be said.  It was definitely one of the happiest days of my life…  
• Beach Fest Baby! – the ultimate GIRL bonding!  Almost every weekend we were in Subic/Zambales making plans and doing “stuffs” for our summer getaway.  Note: This was at the height of NLEX major construction!  Hehe  Lyanne normally rides with me while Tatch rides with Annie.  Every trip was a blast!  At NLEX, cars would stop for over 30mins in one area.  We would go out of our cars, in our short shorts, and wala lang!  chikahan in the middle of the expressway like we were the only people there! Hehe  Some stories are better left unpublished! Hahaha! (more…)

I think it’s time I clarify and put into record some things which have “confronted” me lately… mainly, on the subject of friendship.  OH YES, this is all about friendship!!!  (hello TITLE??? Hehehe sorry readers, private joke! *smiley*)

Firstly, I am not at all a friendly person.  As in do not expect me to be mushy/flattery and all when I see you—especially if we’re not that close or if we just got introduced (though I will probably initiate a decent conversation to take away awkwardness or to live out good social skills).  I am not the type of person who approaches a stranger and introduces myself, especially when I am not in the mood or if I am just in my normal mood (meaning, if I approach you and be all friendly—that is me in my hyper mood).  I am not the “salesman” kind of person who can put on a friendly happy face at all times, manage to initiate small talks with just about anyone and then by the end of an event is already bestfriends with half the crowd.  I do not say “love you girl” to all my female friends and acquaintances (because I take the L word seriously —contrary to popular belief! Hehe  plus, I grew up in an environment of regionalism, sub-groupings and the so called A-lists (versus D-lists! Hahaha!).  Anyway, so what does this mean?  It means I don’t really keep a long list of very close friends.  I haven’t won any “darling of the crowd” awards or any social awards to that effect.  More importantly, it means:  1) I am not into flattery, I am 95% of the time, sincere with my compliments/praises; 2) if you ever make it (and manage to keep it) in my friends’ zone, expect loyalty, openness, thoughtfulness and “love” from me.  So, this should pretty much give you an idea why I act like I do.  Note that it’s not about being too “way up there” (in SAC vocabulary—masyadong nagpapataas ng billing) but rather it’s just me, being my unfriendly self (minding my own life and business).

Secondly, I finally realized what kind of “BESTfriendship” works very well for me (which grows closest to my heart) – the kind which involves the nitty-gritty stuffs – from the details of my mom’s illness down to the color of my nails today or my new fendi eyewear J.  It’s the kind of friendship which allows me to just pick up the phone and call-a-friend from another time zone just to talk about a nice movie I just saw or about a 2-min. encounter with an ex.  The kind of friends who: (more…)

1st, Lakers lost to Celtics, 98-88, last Thursday in game 1 of the NBA Finals.  Kobe Bryant, my favorite this season, only scored 24 (a hard “fought” 9 of 26 attempts).  Boston’s trio (Allen, Garnett and Pierce) really stepped-up and gave the crowd a convincing win over Lakers— and something to look forward to — a more exciting match– again in Boston Garden later today for game 2 (Monday morning Philippine time).

2^nd, Hillary Rodham Clinton is officially OFF the 2008 US presidential race, having “lost” to Barack Obama (now the official Presidential candidate of the Democratic Party in the November election).  In a speech she delivered last June 7, at the National Building Museum in Washington D.C. she said, “Life is too short to dwell on what might have been…”  I have always felt strongly about “GIRL power” – so, I was really kind of hoping that Hillary makes history in this lifetime by being the very 1^st woman president of the USA. 

3^rd, Roger Federer just lost the Men’s Draw Finals of the French Open.  It was a very very disappointing game especially that I was expecting so much from Federer (not only from his being the world’s #1 but more importantly because he has been “trying so hard” to win his very 1^st French Open title).  Rafael Nadal won in 3 sets, 6-1, 6-3 and 6-0.    

NBA 

• Los Angeles Lakers headed to the 2008 NBA Finals!  Lakers won the Western Conference today beating San Antonio Spurs, 100-92 (game 5 of a best of 7 playoffs).  Meanwhile, the Eastern Conference battle continues between Boston Celtics and Detroit Pistons.  Celtics leads the playoffs, 3-2.  Game 6 is scheduled in Detroit on May 30, 8:30pm Eastern Time.  

 F1 

• The young Hamilton of Mclaren Mercedez won the recently concluded Monaco Grand Prix.  BMW’s Kubica finished at 2^nd while Ferrari’s Massa placed 3rd.  During the press conference, Massa expressed disappointment in the overall result of the race.  He said that they made a mistake in going for the 1 stop strategy which didn’t work to his advantage (considering that he got the pole position during the qualifying).  The next race will be in Canada on June 8.  

FRENCH OPEN 

•  Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal move to the next round of the 2008 French Open yesterday after winning their games separately.  Maria Sharapova seeded 1^st in the woman’s draw after Day of the tournament.  

I have been feeling all sorts of emotions lately… the cause… Sex And The City.  First on the list of course is the excitement and anticipation for the much awaited movie of the year.  My friends and I have been waiting and waiting for it to finally “come together” even before season 7 ended.  We have come to love every single episode and so when they decided to end it, it was very hard to let go.  SATC is my 2^nd all time favorite series (next to FRIENDS) so you can just imagine how much I’ve missed it over the years.  The only consolation now is the movie, which I’m hoping would give some sort of “closure” to those who need it (myself included).

The second feeling is confusion.  I wanted to do some preparation before the movie opening so I started watching the series again last week beginning with season 1.  Watching the episodes again made me remember the “codes” which at some point in my life were the very basis and foundation of how I lived as a single, independent woman.   Some of the codes are of course no longer applicable in the path that I have taken… yes, no longer applicable, BUT NOT totally off limits!  Which is the main problem…  Should I or should I not?  What are the consequences?  What are at stake?  How many could get hurt?  Questions which used to be “immaterial” to ask… In my old state, it was only a matter of living life to its fullest, experiencing and getting the most out of being young… a life of ME—only ME (with my friends on the side).  But now it becomes a question of responsibility and yes, to some extent, morality.  How far can I risk?  Can I handle complications?  (more…)